Eat, Do, Sleep – Basic Updates

What does Ken do ?

On paper, Ken is an engineer AND a manager. However, that is strictly on paper. Ken’s engineering talents are approximately the same as the engineering talents of a green pea. Which is also approximately equal to the managerial skills possessed by Ken. The only thing that Ken CAN manage is to feed himself while watching sports. Sometimes, even that is too much for him to manage.

What does Ken eat ?

Well, Ken eats almost anything. Given his gladiatorial instincts, Ken prefers to eat things that can defend themselves, attack back or at the very least run away when they are approached by hungry food-chain superiors. How people can eat innocent, defence-less, vegetables and fruits that cannot even make a sound in protest, leave alone defend themselves or run away when attacked by evil human beings is beyond him. Ken is world-wide Chairman and founding member of the SPCVF (Society for Prevention of Cruelty towards vegetable and fruits) and the Nobel Committee has persistently ignored the silent plea of all vegetables and fruits to award Ken the Nobel prize for (leaving them in 1) Piece. Cest la vie! (Loosely translated as “Such is life” for those of you who do not understand Irish)

When does Ken sleep ?

The answer like most other amazing things about Ken is amazing (excuse the repetitive nature of the repetition). Different people answer this differently. The world famous don, Bappi Bhai says, ” Ken hardly ever sleeps. I have once spent almost three days on the trot observing Ken through closed circuit camera and I found that he never slept. It is quite amazing, clearly the sign of an evolved human being”. On the other hand, the famous Parsi doctor, Doctor Doctorwalla says,” It is amazing how Ken can sleep almost unabated for over 3 days in a row. It clearly shows an adaptive metabolism that is able to go from alive to dead state on demand. Ken is clearly an evolved human being”.

His wife Vandana reports that Ken can sleep before, after and during meals. In fact, the only way that she can figure out to keep him awake is to put on any TV program that says “LIVE” in the top-right hand corner of a screen – including live Doordarshan broadcasts of 3 day chess matches from countries that formed the erstwhile Soviet Union. She takes advantage of the advertising breaks between these in order to glean any information that she might need from him.